If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of the grocery aisle with a toddler mid-tantrum, you’re not alone. One moment they’re fine, and the next, they’re in tears, overwhelmed by emotions too big for their little body. It can feel confusing, frustrating, even a little embarrassing. But here’s the good news: tantrums are a completely normal part of growing up.
At Aussie Kindies Early Learning, we see tantrums for what they really are, an important part of emotional development. Our role is to support children as they learn to understand and manage their feelings, and to work closely with families so we’re all on the same page. Together, we can help children build the confidence and emotional skills they need to thrive.
Why Do Toddlers Have Tantrums?
Between the ages of 1 and 4, children are still developing the skills needed to handle life’s little frustrations. They want independence, but they don’t yet have the tools to communicate everything they feel. So when something doesn’t go to plan, like being told “no,” being asked to share, or leaving a fun activity, their emotions can bubble over in the form of a tantrum.
Importantly, tantrums aren’t bad behaviour. They’re emotional overload. And your calm, supportive response can help your child feel safe while learning how to navigate these overwhelming moments.
Why Your Child Needs You to Stay Close and Calm
When toddlers feel upset, their brain is in what experts call “fight or flight” mode. They can’t always access the part of the brain that controls logic, communication, or reasoning. That’s why trying to reason with a toddler mid-meltdown often doesn’t work.
Instead, what they really need is your calm presence, someone who isn’t swept up in the storm of emotions. Sitting nearby, offering a cuddle, or simply saying “I’m here” can make all the difference.
A Real-World Example
Imagine you’re leaving the park and your toddler throws themselves on the ground, sobbing. They didn’t want to leave, and transitions like these are hard at this age. By staying calm and saying something like, “I know you’re upset. It’s hard to stop playing when you’re having fun,” you’re validating their feelings and helping them begin to name and process their emotions.
How to Make Tantrums Less Likely
You can’t avoid every tantrum, and you don’t need to. But by helping your child develop emotional awareness and preparing for challenging situations, you can reduce how often they happen.
Try these simple strategies:
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Name emotions together: Use clear, simple language to describe feelings, like “sad,” “angry,” “excited,” or “frustrated.” Reading books about emotions is another great way to build your child’s emotional vocabulary.
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Look for patterns: Do tantrums happen at the same time each day? Before meals? After a big outing? Identifying these patterns can help you prevent overwhelm.
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Talk it through after: When the moment has passed, help your child reflect on what happened. “You were really upset when we left the playground. Next time, I’ll give you a five-minute warning before it’s time to go.”
These small conversations build trust, and help your child understand that all feelings are valid and manageable.
What to Do in the Moment
When a tantrum happens, it’s okay to feel flustered. What matters most is how you respond.
Here are some ideas to help guide your response:
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Pause and breathe: Taking a deep breath can give you space to think before reacting.
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Stay close and calm: Your calm energy provides a sense of safety and stability.
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Offer choices: “Would you like to walk or do you want me to carry you?” - giving your toddler simple options can ease power struggles.
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Redirect gently: If the situation allows, distraction can help shift their focus. “Let’s go look for a butterfly!” or “Do you want to help me stir the pancake mix?”
5 Steps to Help Your Child Calm Down
When big feelings take over, this simple five-step approach can guide you:
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Notice and name the feeling: “I see you’re really sad right now.”
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Connect it to the cause: “You’re upset because it’s time to stop playing.”
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Pause and stay present: Give your child space without walking away.
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Offer comfort: A cuddle, soft tone, or holding their hand can go a long way.
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Talk when they’re calm: Later, you can revisit the moment and help them understand it.
These steps help children feel seen, safe, and supported, and they begin to learn that emotions don’t have to be scary.
How Aussie Kindies Supports Emotional Growth
At Aussie Kindies, we believe that emotional wellbeing is the foundation for every child’s success. That’s why our Lifelong Learning Curriculum places equal value on emotional development, social connection, and learning through play.
Our educators build strong, nurturing relationships with each child, creating environments where children feel confident to express themselves, take safe risks, and explore their feelings in healthy ways. Daily group time, storytelling, imaginative play, and quiet reflection all support your child in learning how to manage emotions in real-world contexts.
Supporting Our Educators So They Can Support Your Child
We also invest in the wellbeing and capability of our educators, because when educators feel confident and supported, they can be calm, compassionate guides for children.
Our exclusive coaching series, “Take 5 with Dr Kaylene Henderson,” equips Aussie Kindies educators with practical, evidence-based tools to support children through big emotions. From emotional regulation to separation anxiety, the series provides guidance that reflects the real challenges of early learning environments, and the deep responsibility we carry in caring for young children.
Books That Help With Big Feelings
Books are a powerful way to help toddlers understand and talk about emotions. Here are a few we love:
For parents:
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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen - Joanna Faber & Julie King
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The Whole-Brain Child - Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
For toddlers:
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The Way I Feel - Janan Cain
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When I’m Feeling Angry - Trace Moroney
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Calm-Down Time - Elizabeth Verdick
Reading these books together creates opportunities to talk, connect, and practice naming emotions in a safe and playful way.
You’re Not Alone - Let’s Talk About It
Tantrums can feel isolating, but every parent goes through them. At Aussie Kindies, we encourage open conversations between families and educators. We’re here to listen, share what we’ve learned, and work together to support your child’s development. Whether it’s tips at pick-up time or a chat over coffee, we’re always happy to help.
Final Thoughts
Tantrums aren’t something to fear, they’re a stepping stone in your child’s emotional development. With patience, understanding, and consistent support, you’re helping your child grow into a confident communicator who knows how to express themselves with care.
At Aussie Kindies, we’re proud to support you on that journey, through nurturing relationships, age-appropriate learning experiences, and a strong focus on emotional wellbeing.
Want to see how we help children thrive? Book a tour at your local Aussie Kindies Early Learning centre today.